By the time we’ve passed the half-century mark, we’ve pretty much settled on our preferences and dislikes. We can rattle off our favourite colours, foods, television shows, hobbies and a hundred other facets of our lives and, once these decisions have been made, we generally remain unshakable in our choices.

Of course, most of us also find a life-partner somewhere along the way to our fiftieth birthday to whom we become as habituated as we do to our other choices. ”We” supplants “I” as our personal pronoun as we become half of a couple and change our preferences to match those of our partner. We readjust habits in an effort to please our significant other and make daily compromises to smooth out the bumps in the relationship. And then the day comes when we suddenly find ourselves on our own again and are back to the single life.

Now what happens to our habits and preferences? Do we revert to our original choices or retain those acquired during our couple-hood? In most cases, we end up with a little of both, largely depending on the reasons for the change in status. If we were widowed, we’re more likely to cling to the things we enjoyed with our partner than if we’ve gone through an acrimonious divorce, in which case we probably opt to dump the baby <i>and</i> the bathwater.

What next? Well, you’ve made a start: you joined an age-appropriate dating site and are beginning to scope out the possibilities. You’ve decided on a new beginning and a clean slate, with no preconceived notions, no prejudices, no hampering old habits. Question: do you find your eye straying to the same type of partner from whom you parted? Or have you really decided to make a major change?

There is no right answer to this question. It is posed simply to show you whether or not deep-seated preferences and habits can be changed or if the “can’t teach old dogs new tricks” saw holds true in your case. If you truly want to break out of your comfort zone, ignore the profiles that initially attract you and look for something entirely different. If your preference is for the professional, check out some of the blue-collar types; if you’re drawn to the slim physique, see what the more portly may have to offer. Examine profiles that you would ordinarily ignore, try to look behind the words and take a chance on someone like nobody you have ever known before. Admittedly, it could turn out to be a disaster; on the other hand, it could be the match made in heaven that you’d never have found if you hadn’t mustered the courage to break some of those old habits.

It can be hard to be single and content at the same time since it is human nature to want what we can’t or don’t have. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t a happy medium to be found when we are on our own however. There is a difference between being single and lonely and single and content. It is still possible to be single, with numerous meaningful relationships that don’t have to evolve into full time romantic relationships that would place us outside the category of single. And being single can bring with it numerous advantages, the most important of which may leave us quite content to remain with the “single” title.

A Lifestyle without Compromise
Sure, almost all of us have to compromise in life whether we are single or not. There are rules to follow, laws to obey, jobs that must be held down to earn a living, and a general structure to society to which most of us choose to adhere. However, being single can reduce some of the situations in which we must compromise; situations that can greatly affect our happiness and well-being. Where we live, how we live, and with whom we live may all be sacrificed in order to maintain a relationship. We could very well end up surrendering our life’s true goals and dreams to make someone else happy, leaving us to wonder what could have been.

Freedom to Explore
Freedom to explore doesn’t just mean being able to hit the road or take a vacation whenever the mood hits, although this can be one advantage of being single. The bonds of monogamy can be inhibiting to how and with whom we explore new relationships. When we’re attached to someone, feelings of jealousy, insecurity, anger, and fear, can affect how we interact with other people. Whether those feelings, either within ourselves or our partner, are justified, they can still restrict the way in which we handle ourselves around others and especially affect our ability to interact freely with members of the opposite sex. Being single may allow us to participate more actively in fulfilling relationships with men and women alike without someone looking over our shoulder or us feeling guilty about having spent too much time with someone we find interesting.

Relationship Responsibility
Maintaining a relationship can be a lot of work and may actually be viewed as quite a large responsibility. Keeping someone else happy and satisfied, understanding and catering to their whims and desires, and combating the constant urge to just be selfish and do what we want to do, can quickly grow tiresome, especially if we are often on the giving end rather than the receiving. When we are single, we can take care of ourselves, still participating in relationships that provide the proper or needed amount of attention and human interaction, but don’t leave us feeling exhausted or used at the end of the day.

Recovering from a messy break up is never easy, and the complicated emotions that you experience at the end of a romantic relationship can effect every aspect of your daily life if you do not deal with them appropriately. By following a few common sense steps to getting over your heartache, you will eventually find yourself feeling a little bit better every day and will soon be ready to start looking for a new partner. Remember, no matter how badly you might be feeling right now, nearly everyone has been in your shoes before, and recovering from heartache is simply a part of life. Here are some of the best ways to rebuild your confidence and move on from your last relationship.

Avoid Communicating with Your Old Flame

While it would be great if all former lovers could remain being great friends once their relationship came to a close, the truth of the matter is that staying in touch with your ex when you still have romantic feelings for him or her can make it nearly impossible to move forward. If necessary, have a honest conversation with the person and let them know that you simply cannot continue speaking with them for a little while. This might be a little bit tricky if your work with the person or share the same circle of friends, but it is well worth your effort to sever all ties until you regain your confidence.

Get It Out of Your System

In order to regain your sense of confidence, you are going to have to start by being honest with how you really feel about what you are going through. It is no use pretending that you are not feeling hurt and depressed in order to try to appear strong to everyone. Find a friend or family member that you can count on and spill your heart out. Some of the best ways to start feeling better is to express yourself through writing about your feelings, expressing yourself in art or participating in competitive sports. Once you have gotten everything off your chest, you will find that it is much easier to start moving forward.

Take Pride in Your Appearance

Once you are done wallowing in your own misery, it’s time to get yourself cleaned up. Ladies might start feeling better about themselves after a visit or two to the salon, while guys need to consider losing that post-breakup beard and pulling themselves together. Take out those clothes that you know that you look good in, or, better yet, head out to your favorite clothing store for some new threads.

Strut Thyself

Nothing will help you regain your confidence like receiving some positive signals from strangers. Visit your favorite hot spots and make yourself seem available. With the right body language and eye contact, people will start letting you know that you are the hot stuff that you know you are. Don’t be afraid to engage with people in a little bit of harmless flirting, even if you do not intend on letting things get anywhere. The more that you notice that people are interested in you, the better that you will feel about yourself.